Always felt an outcast in suburbia
When Mrs. Elliott informed us what our six word memoir assignment would be, I instantly knew I wanted to write something about the impact my hometown has had on me. I know that today the idea of contempt towards a suburban lifestyle can been viewed and pretentious or a cliché, but to me, it is the idea that has shaped me more than any other force in my life.
Growing up I was a very happy child, but as I grew older I noticed that I was sometimes different than my friends and found myself interested in music and movies that my friends thought was "weird". Throughout junior high I was a generally unoriginal blob of a person who spent her weekends having stereotypical sleepovers and hanging out at Victoria Gardens. The only thing that separated me from my friends was my poetry writing, which I mostly kept to myself. “Emo” was the grand label of eight grade and I was afraid my peers would scrutinize my poems as fitting under that category.
I’d say my ultimate turning point was the summer before sophomore year. I dyed my blonde hair to chocolate brown and suddenly I became a whole new person. During 10th grade I began to realize more and more how my surroundings made me feel trapped and suffocated. The stench of fabricated happiness emitted from the boring track homes that I rode my bike past. Frankly, I began to absolutely detest Rancho with its lack of culture, art, music, things to do, and any traces of beauty. Don’t get me wrong, it’s nice to see Cucamonga peak early on a clear morning, but besides that, Rancho has little to offer in the way of splendor.
For risk of being called pretentious, I try not to let others know that I think of myself as different. I try to veer away from conventional ideas and hobbies and beliefs, which is often extremely hard to do here. A lover of nature and of meditating, it is not easy to find a near place to be at one with the earth or find someplace that is not noisy or puts me at risk of trespassing on private property. I also very much dislike that we have no music or art venues besides local coffee shop open mike nights. The Lewis Family Playhouse does put on some good shows, but as a music lover, I wish I didn’t always have to travel to L.A. to see my favorite artists.
Enough with my rant/banter, I hope this makes some kind of point. Hopefully some of you can identify with how I feel and know that feeling like an outsider in your own hometown is oh so natural for us young angsty teens.
-Katie M.
Hmmmm... wow I guess i just never noticed. I guess I just lokked at what we did have and just accepted what we did not. Like there are some shows that I wish the playhouse would put on and I just accepted that they did not. Hmmm interesting. As for finding a peacful area... sometimes you have to find one. I built my own little zen area in my bedroom. Sometimes as needed a candle and some taiko are all that are needed to take me to Komagatake (mouuntain shrine in Japan). Sometimes life is not finding what you want but making it. In college or further in life maybe you will come back to infuse some culture into this lifeless town =P.
ReplyDeletePS try looking around at the local colleges (like UCR) because I know some of them have really nice shows.
Derek B
I can relate with what you said in this, I agree. I feel like an outcast sometimes. I feel different from my friends and I think eventually everyone does at some point in time. Thank you for sharing this, I too wish Rancho offered more to its community. There are those nights in the park during summer when people can go to Red Hill Park and listen to music. I dont know when it starts but it is really fun to go to :)
ReplyDeleteMariah
Katie, I LOVE this posts for more reasons than one. For one, I totally agree with how you feel about our town. Although living here has its perks, such as safety and fine weather, there is a serious lack of culture and excitement that makes living here a huge bore. As an art lover, its quite difficult living in a place where my interests can be seen as weird, which actually seems kind of funny to me because its so not, its art, its part of human nature. And these attitudes account for a lack of creativity and inspiration for me. It would be nice to not have to go to Claremont to get my art on.
ReplyDeleteAlso I can relate to you to a degree in your feeling "weird." Because we like things that are not mainstream or whatever we can be seen as pretentious but I think if people feel that way then that says something about how closed-minded they are and thats they're problem, not ours. Sorry If I would rather paint than get drunk off 4-lokos.
And finally, this post has made me see the assignment in a whole new light. I have never thought about thinking about it in terms of my hometown, which is such a huge part of my high school experience. This helps a lot so thank you!
-Bobby R
Katie, I love this post and you. I try to do what I can to stay busy around here, but to do something that truly interests me I have to drive at least 45 minutes. Like you and Bobby, I have interests other than getting drunk. I'd rather go see a cool indie or classic movie, so I have to go to either Pasadena or L.A. I completely relate to wanting to leave Rancho, but at the same time I can recognize that it has helped shape who all of us are and was probably seen by our parents as a safe place with good schools to raise their kids. As for your memoir, I think it perfectly fits how you have felt these past few years and why you have become the interesting, amazing person and friend that you are. :)
ReplyDelete-Elise
Katieeeee. I love reading your posts! They're always written so well; I love your choice of words and how well you put your thoughts onto paper. You truly have a gift. I hope you find what it is your looking for soon and that you thrive there, because you are a wonderful and kind person and you deserve it. And, though those sleepovers were pretty stereotypical... you have to admit they were fun ;)
ReplyDelete<3 <3 <3 Dayna
Katie,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed this post. I have similar views about Rancho, but for different reasons. My sophomore year I was kidnapped and sexually assaulted in a neighborhood near my house. I hated rancho. I hated the pain it brought me, and the memories it held that I couldn't let go. I also hated that the people in this town lacked the ability to empathize with me, or just shut up and listen to my problems for once. It was then I realized most people here are more concerned with tanning and cheer competitions than the real, dirty problems that people experience everyday. So, although we had different causes that led us to feel this way about Rancho, I definitely agree with your view on this city.
Stephanie Rose
I LOVE these comments, thety all made me either happy or veery thoughtful. Derek, you are right in some ways when you say I need to make the best out of what I have. Bobby and Elise, you guys are my soul mates haha, you know how I feel, you crazy artsy people you ;] Dayna, you are amazing and I love. Stephanie, I cannot even imagine what is like to have to live in a place that every day reminds you of such a horrible thing that happened. I am so sorry you have to go through that. It's so nice feeling understood and knowing that Ive got some crazy comrades who know how I feel! Rnacho is nice, but I don't want nice. I want real.
ReplyDelete-Katie M.